Empire of Thorns – by Mark Lawrence – A review of the trilogy

Utter gut churning brilliance, Prince of Thorns by Mark Lawrence

I’m being a bit lazy here as I can’t be arsed to review each book individually, I’m too busy trying to write my own stories and get as a good as Mark ‘bastard writes too well’ Lawrence to do that. So I’ve decided that I shall review the whole lot in one go.

Jorg, Jörg, Jörg. What a thoroughly decent and upstanding human being he is. He extolls every virtue held dear to mankind. Charitable to those in need, merciful to those who wronged him, and a champion of woman kind, he strides across his world fighting evil and righting wrongs.

Only he doesn’t. Jorg is an absolute fucking bastard. He’s the sort of wanker you hate, but are too scared to be anything but nice to because he’d kick the living shit out of you and then fuck your daughter. But, in this set of stories, I bloody love him. Mark Lawrence has taken a poor innocent boy who could have been everything in the first paragraph, and then put him through some of the shittiest things I have ever seen a hero go through. That he came through as sane and – dare I say it – well balanced as he is a bloody miracle.

Mark Lawrence’s writing is not PC. It’s not for people can’t fucking bear a bit of pissing swearing in their wank-stained books. It’s not for people who don’t like cruelty to animals. It’s not for people who don’t realise that there really are people like Jorg in the real world. It’s not for people who can’t enjoy a crackingly good grimdark read. If you’re one of those, fuck off. Or, buy the book, cry your hearts out and then write a one star review that will give Mark Lawrence more sales.

Mark Lawrence is a genius of our time and I hate him – but love him, it’s a paradoxical nightmare – for his mastery of the written word. If you’re the sort of person that realises that there are only shades of grey in our world, that people like Jorg really do exist, and who enjoy a well-planned, well-written, well-rounded character that you not only come to understand, but almost – ALMOST I SAID – grow to love, then these books are for you.

Buy them. BUY THEM ALL.