Dr. Who – UNIT vs Missy – SPOILERS

After watching last night’s Doctor Who finale, I’m going to make some assumptions about UNIT here.

1) In order to become a member of UNIT, you must have served in a member nation’s armed forces.
2) In order to become a member of UNIT, you must have served in a member nation’s special forces (since the duties that UNIT performs go way beyond ‘normal’).
3) When transporting high-threat prisoners such as Missy, that you use the most secure way of transporting such a prisoner; not by using the sort of handcuff that not even the UK Police use any more.
4) When transporting high-threat prisoners such as Missy, you don’t use two brand-new recruits who appear to have had less training than a raw recruit in the first week of basic training.
5) When transporting high-threat prisoners such as Missy you don’t use guards that are a) quadriplegic and propped up in a standing position b) blind c) deaf.
6) When transporting high-threat prisoners such as Missy, if said target asks a member to come near so that they can whisper something to them, the guards should – at the very least – come to an alert stance, such as unshouldering their weapons, pointing the weapons at the prisoner and taking up positions that meant they had clear lanes of fire and weren’t going to shoot each other if the target moved.
7) They should also become even more alert when a death threat is issued. By doing all of the above in 6)
8) They should also notice – as my 9 year old did – when said high threat prisoner is applying lipstick. And actually do something about that. Such as doing all of the above as in 6) as well as shooting her.
9) When high threat target has left the chair she was supposedly securely strapped to, and is whispering death threats in a scientist’s ear, the guards should have reacted to that too. From what I remember, their weapons were still shouldered when they were killed.

Using all of those assumptions (which I think are totally logical) and, given that both my 9 and 11 year old were asking why on earth no-one was actually doing anything whilst Missy was applying lipstick and threatening the scientist, you’d think that someone involved in the production would have gone “No, that’s bloody stupid.”

My daughters and I aren’t asking for ultra-military realism (well, I wouldn’t mind), but it would be good if such idiotic and sploppy – on behalf of UNIT – things didn’t happen. I understand you have to suspend belief when watching a sic-fi show, as that’s the whole appeal and point of a such a show, but not to the point where you have children questioning the abilities of supposedly highly-trained soldiers.

Opinions and comments more than welcome below!